television

Breaking Science News!

/ Jared / Leave a comment

I know I just posted an entry about commercials, but I just saw another one that featured some shocking news that I had to share immediately.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNnsAx19eaM

Did you catch it?  It was barely noticeable; it kind of seems like they’re burying the lead.  Here, I’ll do a screengrab for you:

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No, not the fact that she looks like Robyn.  Up there in the top left corner!

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FANTASY SCENE, YOU CAN’T GROW YOUNG!  What?!?  And this is how you tell us, scientists?  Hidden in some random commercial?  What about Ben Button?

That was what that movie was about, right?  No one I know saw it.

Irritating Commercials

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Screen shot 2011-01-25 at 9.54.58 PM

It’s odd how often I end up writing about commercials, because A) No one watches commercials anymore, and B) Just in general, WHO CARES? but I can’t help but find them fascinating.  I think what intrigues me about the medium of television advertising is that often the true effectiveness of a commercial has absolutely no connection to how good it is, or at least how much I personally like it.  Sometimes it seems like an inverse relationship.  It’s the reason I title these posts “Irritating Commercials” and not “Terrible Commercials.”  If I hate a commercial it usually just means that it was directed towards a different demographic.

Of course, knowing all that won’t stop me from complaining about them.

Luvs Diapers

Nope.  No, this should definitely not exist.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are people out there who think this is funny.  Probably a lot of them.  But we should not be encouraging said people.  I mean, seriously, what we have here appears to be a depiction of three babies gleefully and explosively defecating into their diapers.  In some sort of sick contest.  Set to Tag Team’s classic and terrible 1993 novelty rap hit “Whoomp! (There It Is)“.  All depicted in a style of animation that brings to mind, for me at least, 1990s breakfast cereal commercials.  Nope.

I don’t have a kid, so I am definitely not in the target demographic for this ad.  But is this what appeals to you after you have a baby and get totally sleep-deprived and spend all your time watching bright, loud, children’s programming?  I can’t believe that.  I won’t.  I’m sticking with my original thesis that this should not exist.

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The Golden Globes, 2011

/ Jared / 1 Comment

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We warmed up earlier this month with the People’s Choice Awards, but now Awards Season begins in earnest with the Golden Globes.  By the way, People’s Choice Awards, you may need to reassess your existence if you’re nothing more than an unnoticed ramp-up to the ridiculous disaster that is the Golden Globes.  And I’m sure you noticed that I didn’t even bother with you, Critics’ Choice Awards.

As per the usual, my wife Johanna and I will be competing in a winner-picking competition.  We’ve done this for nine award shows and I’ve beaten her eight times.  Her one win?  Last year’s Golden Globes. That doesn’t bode well for me tonight; I suspect her tendency to make at least one or two crazy choices really helps her because of the general goofiness of the Hollywood Foreign Press.

She wants the win, too.  You guys should have seen her agonizing over her ballot!  I thought she was going to have a breakdown making her picks.  She also had to fulfill her role as award show bartender.  In honor of the foreign voters and the drunken, vaguely trashy vibe of the evening, she’s whipped us up a wine spritzer with equal parts Chardonnay, Sprite Zero, and Diet Orange Fanta.  As she set it down in front of me she said, “These are relatively disgusting, BTW,” but I’m enjoying mine so far.  She’s calling it the “Slutty Exchange Student” and assures me that she’s working on a second concoction for later this evening.

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All right, let’s get started.  As always, categories and winners in bold.  Take it away, Ricky Gervais!

8:01 – Here’s Ricky!  As I said last year, I think he’s perfect for this job, mostly because he doesn’t seem to care much about offending people and he doesn’t seem stiff and over-prepared.  I’m looking forward to it.

His drinking a beer on stage thing is starting to feel like a gimmick, though.

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8:04 – The audience has definitely warmed to him since last year.  He’s getting more laughs from the famous people up front.  Robert De Niro is certainly enjoying himself.

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The People’s Choice Awards, 2011

/ Jared / 3 Comments

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2011 has begun and another awards season is here, and we all know what that means; Johanna and I must resume our award show winner-picking competition.  If you’re sensing a lack of enthusiasm on my part, that’s due to the fact that tonight we’re starting with The People’s Choice Awards.

I don’t know about you, but I was under the apparently false impression that this was a real award show.  I mean, I knew from the title that it was voted on by the “people,” so the actual winners are inevitably going to be terrible.  That’s no excuse for the list of nominees, though.  No real award show in 2010 has any reason to nominate Jackie Chan for anything, right?  The categories themselves don’t even make sense.  Two of the TV show categories are “Favorite TV Obsession” and “Favorite TV Guilty Pleasure” and the nominees for both seem pretty interchangeable.  And Mad Men apparently doesn’t qualify as either an “Obsession” or a “Guilty Pleasure.”  At least we finally get to vote for our “Favorite TV Doctor.”

I’m having trouble even figuring out who the target audience for this show is.  This is key, because since this is a winner-picking competition, I need to know what type of person was doing the voting.  So, judging from the nominees, this is basically the MTV VMAs/Movie Awards except it’s aimed at the dorkier tweens and teens.  Also, there is probably a lonely housewife factor that I need to consider.  Noted.

If you’ve been keeping score at home you’ll remember that I pretty handily trounced Johanna in the 2010 competition.  Of the eight award shows we’ve done this for, I won seven of them.  It’s a new year, though, so we’re wiping the slate clean and giving her a chance to redeem herself.  Let’s get started.  As always, categories and winners in bold.

9:00 – No one told me this was hosted by Queen Latifah.  Although, to be fair, no one said anything about this show to me at all, ever.

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9:02 – She’s opening with a cover of “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz.  This is officially Johanna’s favorite opening to an award show.  I’m busy scanning the audience to see how many celebrities are actually in attendance to try to see what I’ve gotten myself into.

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We forgot to make comedies this year!

/ Jared / Leave a comment

Guys, the Golden Globe nominations are out, and I’ve got bad news.  We forgot to make comedies this year!  Can you believe it?  Is Judd Apatow in rehab or something?

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Cher in 2006.

Image via Wikipedia

My first reaction to this was WTF Hollywood Foreign Press?  My second reaction was also WTF Hollywood Foreign Press, because, seriously, Burlesque?  I mean, I realize it’s a musical, but that movie was made exclusively to serve as a punchline for bad jokes, right?

My third reaction was to realize that I guess I can’t totally blame them; there weren’t really any good comedies this year.  I didn’t see Dinner for Schmucks or The Other Guys, but I doubt they were award-worthy.  My favorite comedy was probably Get Him to the Greek, and that was a seriously flawed movie.  Why did no one make anything funny?

At least the Hollywood Foreign Press is finally recognizing the hilarious work of world-famous funnyman Johnny Depp.

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American actor Johnny Depp.

Image via Wikipedia

Two nominations!  I think Johnny Depp’s funniest trait is how he doesn’t take himself way, way too seriously.  Also, did he get nominated for The Tourist because his beard and hair are really funny in that movie?  That would make sense, I guess.

I’m glad that the foreign press liked The Tourist, though, because it is very much a movie that was  made for Europeans.  No one I know has any interest in that hot ball of garbage.  The Venetian tourists with whom I’m familiar are less Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and more loud, annoying people that are carrying strollers up and down the steps of all the bridges because obviously bringing a baby to Venice is a really great idea.  When I was there I literally saw people with babies and diaper bags and broken legs and crutches and everything.  CANCEL THE TRIP.

Also, I just want to say, I’m pretty sure that the movies that Paul Giamatti and Kevin Spacey were nominated for don’t actually exist.  Barney’s Version and Casino Jack?  Nope.

Revisiting Jenny Slate

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Hey, remember Jenny Slate?  From Saturday Night Live?  Most famous for dropping an F-bomb in one of her first sketches?  Unfortunately, she didn’t get to do much else during her short tenure on the show.

It’s too bad that she didn’t get much of a shot.  She’s funny and charming, and I was excited to watch her on the show after seeing a bunch of the videos she made with Gabe Liedman before being added to the cast.

Well, she appears to be doing quite well post-SNL.  She co-wrote the adorably hilarious (hilariously adorable?) short film “Marcel the Shell with Shoes On” (and voiced Marcel), which got some ink in Entertainment Weekly.

And now she’s making more videos with Gabe Liedman!  Here’s the first of their “Bestie x Bestie” series, of which there are currently three, all well worth watching.

I’ve long been of a defender of Abby Elliott, but even I must admit that if SNL only had enough space for one of them, Ms. Slate deserved the paycheck.

[Bestie x Bestie videos via a ton of sites, notably Videogum and Best Week Ever]

I’ll ask again: What is going on with Sesame Street?

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Urlesque has a good post featuring a video of Ricky Gervais appearing on Sesame Street.  I’ll quote them on this one: “Do kids still watch this stuff? Was Sesame Street this awesome for adults when I was a kid? Is there some hilarious sketch from ’83 with Andy Kaufman and the Grouch?”

I’m not complaining.  I would never complain about having more Ricky Gervais in my life.  But I’m a bit confused.  Kids don’t even know who Ricky Gervais is, right?  Unless maybe they are really big Flanimals fans?

As I often wonder about Pixar movies (again, not complaining, I love Pixar), at what point are we worrying more about entertaining adult viewers of children’s entertainment than we are the actual children?  It seems weird to have Sesame Street parodying Mad Men and True Blood.  Oh well, I don’t have kids.

[Via Urlesque]

Daft Punk and The Cosby Show

/ Jared / 3 Comments

Perhaps in response to my previous post about Daft Punk doing the TRON: Legacy soundtrack, my friend Paul sent me a link to the following video.  It starts a bit slow but then, at the one minute mark, becomes one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCBpk1ECxnI

If I were trying my best to combine two things I love to make something that I REALLY love, it would have taken me years to come up with a Cosby Show and Daft Punk mashup.  The person who made this is a visionary.  This is like someone getting his chocolate in someone else’s peanut butter or vice versa.

Seriously, though, why is that girl walking down the street eating a huge tub of peanut butter?

House candidate loses a supporter he never really had.

/ Jared / 2 Comments
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Image via Wikipedia

Mediaite has picked up on a story that I think is slightly funny about a candidate for the House of Representatives named B.J. Lawson who claimed Morgan Freeman had narrated a campaign ad for him.  And then Morgan Freeman said it wasn’t really his voice.  And then a bunch of people called each other liars.  Or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hGN3L7DOA4

My main interest in this story is that this is my House district!  I voted against this guy!  There was even a supporter of his at my polling place.  On the way out, he said “Thanks for voting, even if you don’t look like you voted for my candidate.”  Keen eye, sir.

[Via Mediaite]

10 Years of Page 2

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ESPN Latin America

Image via Wikipedia

Deadspin points out that tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of ESPN.com’s Page 2, which has me reminiscing about my time spent online over the past decade.  Page 2 was, at least for sports, the first source of online, well-written, free-wheeling opinion pieces that I read, I think, and I would suspect it contributed quite a bit to blogging culture as we now know it.  I was familiar with David Halberstam, but I’m pretty sure I hadn’t ever heard of Hunter S. Thompson before he started writing for ESPN, which is a really bizarre way to be introduced to him.

And, of course, Page 2 introduced us all to Bill Simmons, who would eventually become a sports media behemoth and perhaps the premier star over at ESPN.  I can’t believe I’ve been reading him for ten years.  That sort of explains why he seems so old and vaguely out of touch lately.

Anyway, I like to make fun of ESPN, and I’ve certainly had a few laughs at Page 2 over the years, but here is just one more example of the network being ahead of its time.  As if introducing the idea of 24-hour sports and fueling adoption of HDTV (and maybe 3D TV) weren’t enough.  Kudos, Worldwide Leader.

[Via Deadspin]