Guys, the Golden Globe nominations are out, and I’ve got bad news.  We forgot to make comedies this year!  Can you believe it?  Is Judd Apatow in rehab or something?

My first reaction to this was WTF Hollywood Foreign Press?  My second reaction was also WTF Hollywood Foreign Press, because, seriously, Burlesque?  I mean, I realize it’s a musical, but that movie was made exclusively to serve as a punchline for bad jokes, right?

My third reaction was to realize that I guess I can’t totally blame them; there weren’t really any good comedies this year.  I didn’t see Dinner for Schmucks or The Other Guys, but I doubt they were award-worthy.  My favorite comedy was probably Get Him to the Greek, and that was a seriously flawed movie.  Why did no one make anything funny?

At least the Hollywood Foreign Press is finally recognizing the hilarious work of world-famous funnyman Johnny Depp.

Two nominations!  I think Johnny Depp’s funniest trait is how he doesn’t take himself way, way too seriously.  Also, did he get nominated for The Tourist because his beard and hair are really funny in that movie?  That would make sense, I guess.

I’m glad that the foreign press liked The Tourist, though, because it is very much a movie that was  made for Europeans.  No one I know has any interest in that hot ball of garbage.  The Venetian tourists with whom I’m familiar are less Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and more loud, annoying people that are carrying strollers up and down the steps of all the bridges because obviously bringing a baby to Venice is a really great idea.  When I was there I literally saw people with babies and diaper bags and broken legs and crutches and everything.  CANCEL THE TRIP.

Also, I just want to say, I’m pretty sure that the movies that Paul Giamatti and Kevin Spacey were nominated for don’t actually exist.  Barney’s Version and Casino Jack?  Nope.