So, guess who stumbled across The Daytime Emmy Awards in the cable menu while setting up the DVR for the week? That’s right, me! The Daytime Emmys, everybody! I could not pass up this opportunity to have another winner-picking competition with Johanna. I mean, what other award show features categories like this:
OUTSTANDING SPECIAL CLASS SPECIAL
WE ARE ONE: THE OBAMA INAUGURAL CELEBRATION AT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL
HBO
CLEAN HOUSE: THE MESSIEST HOME IN THE COUNTRY
THE STYLE NETWORK
ON THE EDGE: THE POVERTY CRISIS IN AFRICA
FOX REALITY
That’s right, Clean House up against Obama and poverty in Africa! Also, since when did Fox Reality Channel have shows about things like poverty in Africa? Neither of us has even heard of a lot of these shows, let alone see them, so our choices will be almost completely arbitrary. This is going to be more bonkers than our MTV Movie Award competition.
Believe it or not, not only was there not a printable ballot to be found online, I wasn’t even able to find a list of the categories than were going to actually be in the telecast. So I printed the huge list of unbelievably specific awards off of the Emmy site, and then set about eliminating all but the seemingly most important categories. I brought it down from sixty pages to a concise eight. We’ll find out together whether or not I chose the right categories.
Johanna has made a special cocktail for the occasion out of pear vodka, cranberry juice, and lemon. She’s calling it the “Bitch Slap.” It tastes delicious, but I’m going to give her the first hour of the show to punch up the name. Let’s get started. As always, categories and winners in bold.
9:00 – You know an award show is extra-classy when it comes to you live from beautiful downtown Las Vegas. They’re listing all the performers and presenters here, and outside of our host Regis Philbin, I think the biggest star is Simon Cowell. Chubby Checker???
Of Modern Proportions 