6:18 – Queen Latifah kicks off formal activities with “America the Beautiful.” When did we decide that we need to sing this in addition to “The Star-Spangled Banner”? Maybe we just all secretly think it’s a better song.
Anyway, the pizza Johanna and I ordered has arrived, so our spread is complete.
6:25 – Our first big commercial of the night, a remake of a classic. Dwight Howard and LeBron James are infinitely better at acting natural than Larry Bird and Michael Jordan were in the original.
6:28 – The Saints win the coin toss and choose to receive. Fine with me, I’d rather see Peyton start the second half with the ball. I should reveal here that I’m rooting for the Colts, which according to Katie Couric’s piece in the pre-game is basically like rooting for Hurricane Katrina. I’ve never really cared about football, the Bears suck, my sister lives in Indy, and I like Peyton Manning, so I guess I’m a Colts fan. Also, Manning, Joseph Addai, and Dallas Clark carried my fantasy football team to a championship this year, so I owe them.
6:34 – A quick stop for the Colts defense, and then Manning comes on and threads the needle on a pass to Dallas Clark. I’m going to go on the record here, one offensive play in, and say that this game is over. The Colts, in a blowout.
6:42 – Indianapolis 3, New Orleans 0.
6:43 – That was the controversial Tim Tebow ad? If it hadn’t said “Focus on the Family” at the end of it, I wouldn’t have even known what it was about. Also, Tim Tebow seems like a huge dork, considering he’s the best college football player of all time.
6:46 – What is this Boost Mobile Shuffle ad for? Is there a phone called the Shuffle? Surely Apple wouldn’t let that happen. Also, the running theme of these commercials seems to be “Go watch the rest of our commercial online!”
6:52 – Apparently we need to make another bad Robin Hood movie.
Who am I kidding, that looks awesome.
6:53 – Is the fact that Dr. Marvin Candle from Lost is in this Bud Light commercial actually a secret message form Damon Lindelof?
7:01 – Touchdown Colts! Nice. Manning did not take long to figure out this defense. Or something. I really don’t know much about football. Indianapolis 10, New Orleans 0.
7:03 – I like this Coke commercial with the Simpsons, although Johanna immediately says “Too bad the Simpsons are so irrelevant now.” Does this fit with current Simpsons continuity? I haven’t watched that show in years. Is Mr. Burns actually poor now? I expected the commercial to end with him getting his fortune back.
7:06 – Hey I think this might be our first anthropomorphized animal commercial of the night! A beaver fiddles for Monster.com.
7:17 – A great sack from Dwight Freeney limits the Saints to a field goal. I read in Sports Illustrated today that all Freeney eats in the few days leading up to a game is beef and pinto beans. Indianapolis 10, New Orleans 3.
7:20 – I think Jay Leno still might not realize that Letterman is genuinely making fun of him. You’re not in on the joke, Jay.
7:22 – Back to back commercials about men not wearing pants. I would not have wagered on that happening.
7:27 – An Arcade Fire song can even make a commercial about the NFL Draft seem cool.
7:42 – The Saints go for it on 4th and goal and get stopped. Whew, that was a close one. That Pierre Garçon dropped pass from a few minutes ago almost became a much bigger deal.
7:45 – Here’s a commercial about something that I’m much more excited about than the Super Bowl: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Orlando. I’m such a nerd that I was actually looking forward to this commercial, and when the Alice in Wonderland ad came on a few minutes ago, I thought it was for this and said “here we go!” Unfortunately, this commercial doesn’t tell us anything and doesn’t show any of the rides.
7:50 – The Saints make another field goal to cap off a sort of boring second quarter. Indianapolis 10, New Orleans 6. The Colts get the ball to start the second half.
7:52 – This commercial for this Flo TV thing is pretty cool, but it seems like buying a dedicated mobile television right now would be like buying a standalone CD burner in 1999. Just wait six months and you’ll be able to watch TV on your phone.
7:55 – The halftime report seems like a good time for Johanna to take Ernie for a walk, and he’s ready.
8:00 – These NFL ads with “Wake Up” in them are great. Football in slow motion is awesome. Also, some internet research reveals that Arcade Fire is giving all of the money from the licensing of the song to Haiti relief efforts, so the commercials are even better.
8:01 – Johanna: “Who is this?”
Me: “The Who.”
Me: “The Who.”
Johanna: “Oh. Boring.”
I was really hoping this would devolve into an Abbott and Costello bit.
8:07 – I have absolutely nothing to say about this. I mean, I’m sure it would be awesome to see live, but this is dull television. Rough-looking old dudes playing songs that most people know more from commercials and television credits at this point. Although I have to admit it was pretty bad ass when the entire stadium shouted out “We don’t get fooled again!”
8:21 – We come back from commercial for the second half and Johanna says “I kind of forgot there was more football to watch.”
8:22 – The Saints start the second half with a ballsy onside kick that shocks me so much I exclaim “Whoa. WHOA!” And they recover it! Wow, that sucks for the Colts, so I’m disappointed, but that was completely awesome.
8:27 – The Saints take the lead on a touchdown that was a karmic inevitability after their awesomeness to open the half. They deserved that one. Manning looks like he’s champing at the bit to get back in the game. Indianapolis 10, New Orleans 13.
8:29 – A Volkswagen commercial that features Tracy Morgan, punching, and my number eight favorite song of the decade. One would think I would love this. It’s pretty good, I guess. Using “Das Auto” as their slogan reminds me of their Hitler connections, though.
8:31 – If the Saints were really awesome, they would have done another onside kick here.
8:35 – A 26 yard pass from Manning to Clark causes Johanna and I to simultaneously say “Whoa!” I’m still feeling confident about the Colts here.
8:37 – A nice run from Addai for a touchdown. This half has been highly entertaining thus far. Indianapolis 17, New Orleans 13.
8:44 – I normally like these E*Trade commercials, but they are starting to get creepy. Why are they vaguely sexualizing these babies? It’s funny that they act like adults, but they don’t need to start dating.
8:49 – I get distracted talking to Johanna about how odd it is that tire companies have commercials and next thing I know the Saints are kicking a field goal. Indianapolis 17, New Orleans 16.
8:50 – Someone explain to me what I was supposed to get out of this commercial for the census. Just the knowledge that the census exists? Mission accomplished, I guess.
8:51 – Johanna and I both stop what we’re doing to pay full attention to the Google ad. My early favorite for best commercial of the night.
8:55 – Johanna makes fun of me for commenting on how bad the Colts’ starting field position has been. Apparently there was just an onscreen graphic about that very fact. End of the third quarter. We’re set up for a great ending to the game.
8:59 – A High Life commercial with the guy who takes beer back from people that charge too much and Johanna surprises me by saying “I love this guy.”
9:03 – The Colts go for it on 4th and 2 and convert. Both of these teams seem very confident.
9:04 – The Colts’ boldness does not pay off. Stover misses the field goal, and the Saints get the ball back on the 41. The game is exciting, but Ernie could care less.
9:14 – A Saints touchdown, from Jeremy Shockey, of all people. Ugh. The Saints go for two and don’t get it, so the margin stays at five. Indianapolis 17, New Orleans 22.
9:16 – OK, so the Budweiser guys just get together every year and draw a random animal out of a hat to throw in with the Clydesdales? This year it’s a calf. This ad campaign needs to be retired.
9:18 – New Orleans challenges the call. And…
They get the points and keep their timeout. Indianapolis 17, New Orleans 24. That’s a big deal. And they certainly have the momentum.
9:27 – This Audi “Green Police” commercial is confusing. They want me to be on the side of the green police and buy their diesel automobile, yet the commercial makes me hate the green police.
9:28 – Manning throws a pick 6, and a really exciting game all of a sudden feels like it’s over. That’s a shame. Indianapolis 17, New Orleans 31.
9:44 – The Colts march down the field but can’t get in the end zone, and we’re done here. This score is not as close as this game felt.
I’m a little bit sad, but I’m sure I’ll get over it. And at least it’s the Saints and not the Vikings. That onside kick is going to be famous.
And Drew Brees’ kid in headphones is almost as funny as Rihanna in 3-D glasses at the Grammys.
10:14 – Stay tuned for my not-at-all-live live blog of the debut of Undercover Boss.