This Derrick Rose and Katy Perry team-up is making me reconsider my “Buy American” stance.

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So at some point, perhaps when I was the owner of a Chrysler dealership while they were going bankrupt (Believe it or not, that is not a joke!  That is a thing that  actually happened!), I got it in my head that I should be one of those “Buy American” people.  One way in which this manifested itself was in my half-baked decision to only wear, like, Nike, Vans and Converse shoes and no longer support Adidas or Puma.

My aversion to Adidas was even more pronounced because I have an inherent distrust of German corporations, mostly because I assume they all used to provide material support to the Nazi Party.  UNSUBSTANTIATED CLAIM BASED ON ABSOLUTELY NO INFORMATION ALERT!  When I brought up this attitude about the Germans to my wife’s father and told him I was thinking of buying a Ford instead of, say, a Volkswagen because of it, he pointed out that Henry Ford was a noted anti-Semite who exchanged correspondance with Adolf Hitler.  Or something.  So there’s that.

Another way in which I’m an idiot is that clearly all of these shoe companies are global corporations at this point, and they’re all manufacturing the sneakers in the same Indonesian sweatshops, and blah blah blah, I know!  I know, OK?!  I just said RIGHT AT THE START OF THIS PARAGRAPH that I’m an idiot!  Do I contradict myself?  Very well then I contradict myself, I am a large hypocrite.

Anyway, this new Adidas commercial features both my singer crush, Katy Perry, and my basketball crush, Derrick Rose, so I’m thinking of switching allegiances.  Sorry, Phil Knight!  And yes, I know, you hate Katy Perry, but I don’t care.  She’s really hot, you guys.  Plus, I know you hate her husband Russell Brand, too, but that doesn’t stop me from also really liking him.  So there.

As for the commercial itself, I think it might be slightly too frenetic for my taste, but the new Justice song it uses is pretty awesome, and it really makes me want to go care about something/work hard/never give up!  I’m not sure I’m going to go out and buy a new pair of Adidas shoes, though, because pretty much every pair that I’ve ever owned has sort of hurt my feet.  But if anyone could convince me to switch brands it would be Derrick Rose, on whom I currently have the biggest sports crush I’ve had since the heights of my Pujolsmania.  He’s so hard-working and humble and unselfish and amazing!  Did you see this article?  How could you not love him?!

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Speaking of my current love of Derrick Rose, I really need someone to talk NBA with.  None of my friends care, and my wife, God bless her, tries her best, but I get the sense that she’s just daydreaming about Kyle Chandler while I’m blathering on about how maybe the Bulls are better off with the 2 seed in the East as opposed to the 1 seed because then they would probably face the Heat in the second round of the playoffs instead of the Magic, and I really think they match up better against the Heat in a seven game series.  What’s that?  You’ve already stopped reading?  OK then, I’ll show myself out.

The Super Bowl, 2011


OK, wait, just for one second let’s talk about the Puppy Bowl.  Did you guys see Two Face?  He was clearly the best and my favorite because he just wants to chill.


I’m also probably going to be good friends with Oliver (and maybe his brother River) because we share a love of movies.


But anyway, the Super Bowl.  So, this seems like it’s going to be a good game.  Most people that I’ve heard have been picking the Packers to win, but they aren’t huge favorites.  It should be close.  Plus, both the Packers and the Steelers have huge fanbases and storied histories.  There is a lot going on here.  And somehow, I absolutely could not care less.  I can’t remember the last time I was this uninterested in this game.

My desire to watch it is also hurt by the fact that the television rights this year belong to FOX, which means this is going to be really overproduced and will constantly pander to the lowest common denominator.  And will feature a robot.


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Breaking Science News!

I know I just posted an entry about commercials, but I just saw another one that featured some shocking news that I had to share immediately.

Did you catch it?  It was barely noticeable; it kind of seems like they’re burying the lead.  Here, I’ll do a screengrab for you:


No, not the fact that she looks like Robyn.  Up there in the top left corner!

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FANTASY SCENE, YOU CAN’T GROW YOUNG!  What?!?  And this is how you tell us, scientists?  Hidden in some random commercial?  What about Ben Button?

That was what that movie was about, right?  No one I know saw it.

Irritating Commercials

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It’s odd how often I end up writing about commercials, because A) No one watches commercials anymore, and B) Just in general, WHO CARES? but I can’t help but find them fascinating.  I think what intrigues me about the medium of television advertising is that often the true effectiveness of a commercial has absolutely no connection to how good it is, or at least how much I personally like it.  Sometimes it seems like an inverse relationship.  It’s the reason I title these posts “Irritating Commercials” and not “Terrible Commercials.”  If I hate a commercial it usually just means that it was directed towards a different demographic.

Of course, knowing all that won’t stop me from complaining about them.

Luvs Diapers

Nope.  No, this should definitely not exist.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand that there are people out there who think this is funny.  Probably a lot of them.  But we should not be encouraging said people.  I mean, seriously, what we have here appears to be a depiction of three babies gleefully and explosively defecating into their diapers.  In some sort of sick contest.  Set to Tag Team’s classic and terrible 1993 novelty rap hit “Whoomp! (There It Is)“.  All depicted in a style of animation that brings to mind, for me at least, 1990s breakfast cereal commercials.  Nope.

I don’t have a kid, so I am definitely not in the target demographic for this ad.  But is this what appeals to you after you have a baby and get totally sleep-deprived and spend all your time watching bright, loud, children’s programming?  I can’t believe that.  I won’t.  I’m sticking with my original thesis that this should not exist.

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House candidate loses a supporter he never really had.

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Image via Wikipedia

Mediaite has picked up on a story that I think is slightly funny about a candidate for the House of Representatives named B.J. Lawson who claimed Morgan Freeman had narrated a campaign ad for him.  And then Morgan Freeman said it wasn’t really his voice.  And then a bunch of people called each other liars.  Or something.

My main interest in this story is that this is my House district!  I voted against this guy!  There was even a supporter of his at my polling place.  On the way out, he said “Thanks for voting, even if you don’t look like you voted for my candidate.”  Keen eye, sir.

[Via Mediaite]

Commercials I Like


My recent post about commercials that I find irritating might have led one to believe that I’m annoyed by commercials in general, but that’s really not the case.  I find advertising sort of fascinating, and I get real enjoyment out of a well-made television commercial.  In an effort to balance negativity with positivity, here are my thoughts on a few I’ve liked lately.

The ESPN campaign for the FIFA World Cup has a simple goal: alert unaware Americans, of which I’m sure there are quite a few, that the World Cup is coming soon and it will be televised on ESPN.  They do that quite well, but they also accomplish a couple of secondary things, most notably convince skeptical American non-soccer fans that this is a really big deal and worthy of their attention, and get Americans that are already interested in soccer absolutely, foaming-at-the-mouth, crazy excited about it.

The first ad I saw them air is a nice, concise 30-second spot featuring footage from World Cups past and a simple voiceover.  The key here, for me at least, is the use of “City of Blinding Lights” by U2, which is just the perfect song.  It was also famously employed during the introduction of Barack Obama as the Democratic nominee for President back in 2008, a totally goosebump-inducing moment for me.  I feel like a memo went out to all of the people that score things like this that this should be their go-to song.

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Irritating Commercials


Considering that I watch almost all of my television on either DVD or DVR, it would seem like I shouldn’t have much to complain about in the realm of commercials.  But I’ve been seeing quite a few of them lately, most likely due to all of the live sporting events I’ve been watching (March Madness, MLB Opening Day, etc.).  And I find a lot of them to be irritating, for various reasons.  Below, a few examples.

Buffalo Wild Wings

Both Johanna and I have been annoyed by this Buffalo Wild Wings campaign since it first started airing.  I can’t comment on its effectiveness; it doesn’t seem particularly good or bad at getting its message across.  And while the idea of a bartender pressing a button that sends a message to an undercover agent at a nationally televised sporting event telling him to do whatever it takes to prolong the game for the sake of a few people at one particular Buffalo Wild Wings is, quite obviously, ridiculous, I’m generally willing to suspend disbelief when it comes to advertising.

The real issue here is the motivation of the patrons.  A bunch of people wearing generic “New York” and “Boston” jerseys go to BW3 to share tables with each other and watch the game.  They care enough about their “teams” to dress up and go somewhere special to watch the game.  But when it comes down to it, they all know that it’s not winning that matters, it’s spending quality time with mixed groups of sports fans in a large room surrounded by chicken wings and big televisions.  Send it into overtime!

Taco Bell

OK, this one is obvious.  There is absolutely no Taco Bell anywhere on Earth where two young, attractive, and friendly women like Denise and her redheaded friend are taking your order.  I don’t expect complete realism in my commercial casting, but this is just insulting.

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The Super Bowl, 2010

6:18 – Queen Latifah kicks off formal activities with “America the Beautiful.”  When did we decide that we need to sing this in addition to “The Star-Spangled Banner”?  Maybe we just all secretly think it’s a better song.


Anyway, the pizza Johanna and I ordered has arrived, so our spread is complete.


6:25 – Our first big commercial of the night, a remake of a classic.  Dwight Howard and LeBron James are infinitely better at acting natural than Larry Bird and Michael Jordan were in the original.

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