Get Him to the Greek | Of Modern Proportions

I had such big plans for my Christmas in Boston. We were going to see so many movies! One every other day, or maybe even more than that! I was going to see True Grit, Black Swan, The Fighter, The King’s Speech, all the movies that aren’t yet playing in Chapel Hill. I was going to really beef up this list and make up for the fact that I didn’t make it to the theater much this year.

Alas, time flew and whatnot, and none of this happened. I did have a chance to watch the movie I have at number five below, so at least I got to round the list off with ten. Because, honestly, I didn’t see anything else that really came close to warranting a spot here. As it is, this is sort of a weak list. MacGruber made my top ten, for Christ’s sake. Anyway, let’s start things off by watching this montage of scenes from the many, many movies I did not see this year.

Now let’s move on to the very few movies that I actually did see. As always, this is not a list of the best movies of the year, since I really don’t see that many movies and don’t feel qualified to write that. This is just a list of my favorites.

10) MacGruber

Like Hot Fuzz, this is a satire of action movies that pretends to be an homage to action movies. I enjoyed Hot Fuzz, but I think this was quite a bit funnier. It’s basically just a long series of gags, so it sort of is just the extended SNL sketch that its critics accuse it of being, but I thought the gags themselves were really pretty hilarious.

This was my dog’s least favorite movie of the year. He normally completely ignores the television, but he lost it during the sex scene in this movie and would not stop barking at Will Forte’s over-the-top grunting.

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Guys, the Golden Globe nominations are out, and I’ve got bad news. We forgot to make comedies this year! Can you believe it? Is Judd Apatow in rehab or something?

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My first reaction to this was WTF Hollywood Foreign Press? My second reaction was also WTF Hollywood Foreign Press, because, seriously, Burlesque? I mean, I realize it’s a musical, but that movie was made exclusively to serve as a punchline for bad jokes, right?

My third reaction was to realize that I guess I can’t totally blame them; there weren’t really any good comedies this year. I didn’t see Dinner for Schmucks or The Other Guys, but I doubt they were award-worthy. My favorite comedy was probably Get Him to the Greek, and that was a seriously flawed movie. Why did no one make anything funny?

At least the Hollywood Foreign Press is finally recognizing the hilarious work of world-famous funnyman Johnny Depp.

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Two nominations! I think Johnny Depp’s funniest trait is how he doesn’t take himself way, way too seriously. Also, did he get nominated for The Tourist because his beard and hair are really funny in that movie? That would make sense, I guess.

I’m glad that the foreign press liked The Tourist, though, because it is very much a movie that was made for Europeans. No one I know has any interest in that hot ball of garbage. The Venetian tourists with whom I’m familiar are less Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and more loud, annoying people that are carrying strollers up and down the steps of all the bridges because obviously bringing a baby to Venice is a really great idea. When I was there I literally saw people with babies and diaper bags and broken legs and crutches and everything. CANCEL THE TRIP.

Also, I just want to say, I’m pretty sure that the movies that Paul Giamatti and Kevin Spacey were nominated for don’t actually exist. Barney’s Version and Casino Jack? Nope.