We forgot to make comedies this year!

Guys, the Golden Globe nominations are out, and I’ve got bad news.  We forgot to make comedies this year!  Can you believe it?  Is Judd Apatow in rehab or something?

Picture 4

Cher in 2006.

Image via Wikipedia

My first reaction to this was WTF Hollywood Foreign Press?  My second reaction was also WTF Hollywood Foreign Press, because, seriously, Burlesque?  I mean, I realize it’s a musical, but that movie was made exclusively to serve as a punchline for bad jokes, right?

My third reaction was to realize that I guess I can’t totally blame them; there weren’t really any good comedies this year.  I didn’t see Dinner for Schmucks or The Other Guys, but I doubt they were award-worthy.  My favorite comedy was probably Get Him to the Greek, and that was a seriously flawed movie.  Why did no one make anything funny?

At least the Hollywood Foreign Press is finally recognizing the hilarious work of world-famous funnyman Johnny Depp.

Picture 3

American actor Johnny Depp.

Image via Wikipedia

Two nominations!  I think Johnny Depp’s funniest trait is how he doesn’t take himself way, way too seriously.  Also, did he get nominated for The Tourist because his beard and hair are really funny in that movie?  That would make sense, I guess.

I’m glad that the foreign press liked The Tourist, though, because it is very much a movie that was  made for Europeans.  No one I know has any interest in that hot ball of garbage.  The Venetian tourists with whom I’m familiar are less Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp and more loud, annoying people that are carrying strollers up and down the steps of all the bridges because obviously bringing a baby to Venice is a really great idea.  When I was there I literally saw people with babies and diaper bags and broken legs and crutches and everything.  CANCEL THE TRIP.

Also, I just want to say, I’m pretty sure that the movies that Paul Giamatti and Kevin Spacey were nominated for don’t actually exist.  Barney’s Version and Casino Jack?  Nope.

Daft Punk and The Cosby Show

Perhaps in response to my previous post about Daft Punk doing the TRON: Legacy soundtrack, my friend Paul sent me a link to the following video.  It starts a bit slow but then, at the one minute mark, becomes one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCBpk1ECxnI

If I were trying my best to combine two things I love to make something that I REALLY love, it would have taken me years to come up with a Cosby Show and Daft Punk mashup.  The person who made this is a visionary.  This is like someone getting his chocolate in someone else’s peanut butter or vice versa.

Seriously, though, why is that girl walking down the street eating a huge tub of peanut butter?

I’ve abandoned my child!

I’m not sure who is responsible for the video below (Tomfoolery Pictures, I suppose?) or who is currently popularizing it on the internet (I was introduced to it by a tweet from Slate), but it has absolutely made my day.

Genius. I’m not sure I would actually want to play the game if it were real; I’ve never been a fan of side-scolling platformers that require precision jumping. But it certainly makes me want to go watch the movie again. It also reminds me of this sort of stupid but still hilarious SNL sketch that is just delightfully evocative of late-2007.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/10232/saturday-night-live-milkshakes

Inception Re-imagined

Inception was my favorite movie of the summer.  I mean, that’s not saying a lot; I’m pretty sure it was the only movie I saw in the theater.  But I really liked it, and was confused by a lot of the backlash that came after the initial critical raves.  Slow and boring?  Not the movie I was watching.

That said, this person might have improved upon it.  I would absolutely watch this version in its full length.

I love people who take the time to do something like that.  It’s why I love the internet.  You know why else I love the internet?  Inception cat.

Outstanding.  That’ll do, cat.

All right, now I need to go watch Star Wars because this reedited trailer for A New Hope featuring the Inception music is so great.  Screw “The Imperial March.”

[First video via io9]

The MTV Movie Awards, 2010

DSC02662

I don’t usually watch the MTV Movie Awards.  It’s not like I think I’m too good for it; I love these MTV train wrecks and was really upset when I realized I had missed the most recent VMAs and had to watch it online.  But the Movie Awards show just isn’t usually on my radar.

This time around, though, Aziz Ansari is hosting, and since I am both a fan and a Twitter follower of his, I’ve been looking forward to this.  As I was setting it up on the DVR it occurred to me that I should compete with Johanna in a winner-picking competition like we’ve done in the past with the Oscars, Grammys, and Golden Globes.  I went looking for a ballot online, but shockingly was unable to find one.  I guess not as many people participate in office pools for the MTV Movie Awards as they do for some of the other awards shows.  I decided to make my own ballot, so I went to the MTV site and looked up the categories.  And that’s when I really got excited about this.

Best WTF Moment.  Biggest Badass Star.  Best Scared-As-S**t Performance (MTV’s asterisks, not mine).  Plus, I’m pretty sure that the winners were all determined by online polls.  So, to correctly pick winners, I have to put myself in the mindset of a fifteen-year-old girl.  I haven’t even heard of some of these movies, let alone seen them.  This is going to be epic.

Just a warning, my usual strategy of taking photos of my actual television for these live events works out even worse when the show is not in HD.  And Time Warner Cable down here does not have MTVHD.

Let’s get started.  As always, categories and winners in bold.

DSC02658

Continue reading

Movies, 1990-1999

DSC02347

The 1990s are both overrated and underrated when it comes to movies.  The highs may not have been all that high, but the lows weren’t as bad as the eighties and the middles were solid.  It was a workmanlike decade in film, and there’s nothing wrong with that, really.  The one negative thing I would say about a lot of the movies of the era was that even the independent films feel like their corners have been rounded off a bit.  Everything feels really commercial, which is not always bad, but can be a little bit sad.

Just as with my list of favorite songs of the nineties, I feel like I must be forgetting some candidates here.  I also fully admit that there are quite a few critically acclaimed movies from the nineties that I’ve never watched; for instance, I haven’t seen four of the ten Best Picture Academy Award winners from the decade.  For some reason, even though I say over and over that these lists are of my favorites, and not necessarily the best, I still feel the need to qualify everything.  Anyway, let’s get started.  Here they are, my twenty five favorite movies of the 1990s:

25) Romeo + Juliet (1996)

I can’t really sit through this entire movie anymore.  I need someone to edit it down for me and just cut out the 45 or so minutes of meaningful glances and mournful stares.  But I love the concept and the aesthetic of it, and the opening sequence is one of my favorites ever.  Unfortunately I can’t find just that bit on YouTube, so I’m posting this trailer (which actually makes the movie look much worse than it is) instead.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjxHdNxvySU

24) Clerks (1994)

Kevin Smith is kind of like the Dave Matthews of directors.  Clerks and Under the Table and Dreaming both came pretty much out of nowhere in 1994, and were met with commercial and critical success.  Both Smith and Matthews were praised initially (and rightly so) for their unique style.  Both kept doing pretty much the same thing, and slowly lost fans, through fatigue and a drop in quality of the product they were producing, and eventually became kind of the epitome of uncool in their respective fields.  Not people that were terrible at what they did, but people of whom it was embarrassing to be a fan.  And yet both maintain, to this day, a core group of hardcore fans that don’t really seem to realize that nobody else cares anymore.

Anyway, I LOVED this movie when I first saw it on VHS.  Not surprisingly, I was around 13 at the time.  I was also a fan of Mallrats, and loved Chasing Amy when it came out.  I thought that Jason Lee was the second coming of Jimmy Stewart.  Have I ever considered buying any of these on DVD?  No.  Let’s leave them locked up in the Nineties Time Capsule.

Continue reading

Throwback Thursday: 1982

DSC02251

I was thinking to myself the other day, you know what might be a fun thing to do for the blog?  Pick a year, do some research on it, write down my thoughts on the major events, and dig around on YouTube for corresponding videos.  And you know what?  It was absolutely as fun as I thought it would be, mostly because of the videos.  Old videos on YouTube are unbelievably great.  God bless the people that not only hold on to their old VHS tapes, but also willingly spend their time putting them online.  Or however it is these things find their way to my computer.

It seemed like 1982 would be an appropriate place to start; after all, that’s when I got my start.  If I do muster up the energy to keep this going, though, I don’t plan to go sequentially, because that seems like it would be really, really boring.

I came up with the idea of beginning this entry with the first video that showed up for me when I searched for “1982.”  I was pretty convinced that this would end up being a terrible idea, as I assumed that the first result would be something terribly dull.  Boy, was I wrong.  I think if I looked up “how to start a blog entry about 1982” in the dictionary, this video would start playing:

I was hoping to work things into a seamless narrative, but that would be too much work, so let’s just take things a category at a time.

Continue reading

The Academy Awards, 2010

DSC02226

Johanna and I are sitting here in a nearly empty apartment.  This is our last night in our current place, and all of our possessions, other than our larger pieces of furniture, are already over at the new digs.  Even the dog is gone; we’re boarding him for the night so he won’t be underfoot tomorrow when we’re trying to load up the U-Haul.  It’s the first night I’ve spent apart from him.

Moving is never fun, especially for a couple of worriers like Johanna and me.  There are always a thousand things to stress about, and the worst always seems to happen for us.  This time we’re particularly bothered by the fact that it seems like someone is planning on paving our dirt road tomorrow, which could make it difficult to get the truck in and out.

Anyway, because of all of this, I was particularly looking forward to the Oscars tonight.  We’ve ordered a pizza, I’ve poured a scotch, and I’m just going to relax and fantasize about being settled in at the new place.

If you read my Grammy or Golden Globe entries, you know that Johanna and I like to fill out ballots beforehand and compete in a winner-picking contest.  Johanna snuck out a victory in the last category of the night in the Golden Globes, and I pulled off an untelevised category win in the Grammys, so we’re currently tied, one to one.  Nothing like the Academy Awards to settle things for us.  Unfortunately, we both read the same predictions online, so we’re either going to tie, or one of us will win based on our short documentary pick.  Let’s get this started.  Categories and winners in bold.  I’ll add some video later if I can find it.

8:00 – We have a weird opening here as all of the best actor and actress nominees stroll out together.  That was odd and masturbatory, but those two words describe a lot about the Oscars.

8:02 – Now here comes Neil Patrick Harris to sing a song for no reason.  God, Hollywood loves this guy.  So do I, though, so it’s cool.  But shouldn’t we be opening with the hosts?

DSC02186

8:04 – I’m a huge fan of both Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, and I’m sure they’ll be funny.  I’m going to go out on a limb here, though, and say that at the end of the night I’m probably going to feel like it would have been better if the Academy had just picked one of them and ran with it.

DSC02187

Continue reading

Disney Animated Classics

DSC02168

I’m a very big Disney fan, and sort of a burgeoning animation geek, so I’m much more familiar with these movies than your average red-blooded 27-year-old American male with no children has any right to be.  That said, while I’ve seen some of these very recently, a lot of this is based on half-remembered thoughts and opinions.  So this might not exactly be my definitive list.  Also, Pixar movies don’t count here; this is just Disney Animation Studios stuff.  Here’s the official list.  In honor of my upcoming, highly anticipated trip to Walt Disney World, here are my thirty favorite Disney Animated Classics (movies I haven’t seen, or don’t remember, are excluded and listed at the end).

30) The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

I haven’t seen this movie since it came out, and I don’t remember it that well, really.  But I was utterly disappointed by it at the time, and it certainly confirmed to us what Pocahontas had hinted at the year before: the modern golden age of Disney classics was over.

29) Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

This movie is a big deal.  It’s the first full-length animated film ever made.  At the time, people thought making a feature-length animated movie was ridiculous.  Reading about Walt Disney’s drive to get this made and the technological breakthroughs he and his animators made during the production is even sort of inspiring.  That said, this movie is boring as hell nowadays.  And the animation style, in my opinion, is not at all visually interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY3aljAO7qU

28) Pinocchio (1940)

This movie gave us “When You Wish Upon A Star,” which is a great song.  That’s pretty much all it has going for it.  It’s divided into three completely unrelated, nonsensical acts, each possibly more dull than the last.  Rarely does an hour and a half feel this long.

Continue reading