Extremely helpful online reviews

One of my favorite things about online shopping is the reviews.  It’s nice to have other consumers like myself share their experiences with a product that I’m thinking of purchasing.  It’s also fun to read reviews written by people that have very little conception of how the internet works, are confused about how a product is supposed to be used, or just have a funny way of talking that doesn’t translate well to writing.  I thought I would share these as I come across them.  Keep in mind that some of them might not be funny to anyone but me; I’ve found that to be the case with a lot of things in life.

Here’s one I found tonight while looking for a coat rack from Target:

3 stars

Color was too dark – NOT cherry December 6, 2009 Reviewer:  GatorGirl (Kansas City)

The rack is sturdy and I like the design, but the color was not cherry. It was much darker. Almost black. Fortunately, it is usually covered with coats.

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Why yes, it was helpful by making me laugh.  There is really nothing wrong with GatorGirl’s review.  It actually would be good to know that the wood color was not as advertised if you really want all your woods to match.  The last line just cracked me up for some reason.

This next one is possibly the only review I’ve ever actually reported as inappropriate.  It isn’t offensive or anything, unless you are offended by people being idiots.  It’s for DVDs of the sketch comedy show The State from Amazon:

0 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars a gift., August 31, 2009

I really can’t evaluate this product. It was purchased as a gift for a much younger person and I have not viewed any of the video.

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Well, Mr. Boehmke, where should I start?  You’re obviously an older gentleman (with a taste for Hawaiian shirts), and I appreciate that you might not be totally familiar with Amazon.  I should tell you, this is not eBay.  You are under no obligation to leave feedback on items you purchase.  In the future, if you buy things that you don’t use, it would probably be best to just keep your thoughts to yourself and not give something one star and affect its overall rating.

Here’s one Johanna found while buying some weights:

5.0 out of 5 stars Weights, May 2, 2009

The weights are great! I was hoping that we would use them a little more then we have so far.

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So, that’s a positive review for the weights, but a negative review of his family’s commitment to getting in shape.

And finally, I’ll end with three I found while purchasing a GPS recently:

6 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars I like it…, October 31, 2009
Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)

I wanted to give this product 5 stars but for some reason my mouse cannot click the stars, I must use the tab key and hit enter, then of course it will only let me click once. So what, you know I mean 5 stars. Well one reviewer said “for three reasons. 1) Ease of use. 2) Screen clarity. 3) Amazing accuracy.” I bought it cause the price was right when I compared it to Best Buy products. I tried believing my wife and I would share it between our two vehicles. You can pay more if you want it to tell you more, This one works for what I want and need, oh, and well enough I bought a second one so we could just keep one in each vehicle. Since my clicker didn’t work let me do this
Ease of use 5 stars, Features 3 stars, it could have told me where the best gas price was, and given me live traffic updates, but then it would have cost at least twice what I wanted to pay. Portability 5 stars. Points of interest accuracy, don’t know, I don’t like people or machines telling me what I should be interested in, I tell it where I want to go; it gets me there. Voice 4 stars, but truly I haven’t totally decided on the voice. Check the page, theres a chart, they all have different features and add-ons you can buy.

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“For some reason my mouse cannot click the stars.”  Classic.  I also enjoy that Dragon still hasn’t “totally decided on the voice.”

13 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars COMPLAINT, February 18, 2009
By Yoram Blashkauer (Sao Paulo, Brazil) – See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)

Actually a I bought a new gps garmin 260w, however I got a REFURBISHED/USED one. This service was a complete mistake !

To sum up, I do not recommend you any purchase from the store called
BUY ACCESSORIES. Open your eyes, be aware !!!

Yoram Blashkauer.

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Good tip, Yoram.

And the last one, from Patti, who seems to have a problem with her unappreciative boss, not the GPS:

3 of 52 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars GPS, November 12, 2008

I bought it for my boss who never figured it out so it’s sitting in a box in his office.

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